A Brief Thought on Connecting With Philosophies

When I find a philosopher that I truly connect with, it is an immediate, visceral reaction. Even when I cannot remember the details of a philosophy, I can vividly recall its feeling and intention. The feeling of immediate and fundamental connection are so self-apparent that when I read those who do not ignite a fire within me, despite so many agreeable sentiments and ideas, I must sadly admit that there is something missing in what they are saying. Of course, I’m not implying that those who cannot connect with me are lacking quality. They are just lacking me.

I am an uncreative philosophical person. I live in the high levels of ideas without the language to speak them, so I read, read, and read so that more clever and creative people than I can already have said what I was thinking. Thus, I admit that my mind doesn’t contain innovative ideas, but simply niche ideas that need a coaxing out by professionals and those much smarter and cognizant than I.

So I am an emotional person who connects with philosophies. I do not try to weave my own, because I know that I would be effectively selling used goods. But I try to highlight and re-word my visceral connections to philosophers and ideas, in such ways that people may be able to finally understand me. In the end, a thirst for knowledge is inherently a selfish act; and to be understood by the words of others is a tight rope walk that I must take because I am so hopelessly inexpressible otherwise.

To be a true creator of new ideas, even if built from the old, is a dream that I’ve had since my teenage years. But I distract myself with demanding jobs and demanding circumstances, perhaps purposefully, so that I don’t have to confront the truth that maybe I’m not capable of such.